Thursday, 22 October 2009

OMG So so cross right now

Hey everyone,
God, did you just see Tony Griffin on Question Time being a total racist claustrophobic b*st*rd??? I can't believe that he's even allowed on television. Just wanted to let you know how I feel about this because my flatmate's out and I stayed in especially to get angry about this. She went clubbing but I just couldn't because I knew how fascinated I'd be by all the politics and issues. And I was! I need to make a programme about this. Maybe I could go on a date with Tony Griffin and try to change his views over a bottle of wine and some banoffee pudding?!!! I am SO calling BBC3 in the morning.
Sleep well, guys. C xxx

Friday, 28 August 2009

That's a bit rich!

Hiya everyone! Had a great idea for a show which Channel 4 snapped up immediately. There's clearly a big appetite for my insightful documentaries in the current television market. The Guardian themselves called my last show, Look At My Boobs (a no-holds-barred look at my boobs in a mirror) "unbelievably half-baked" which I took as a great compliment. I love baking in my little frilly pinny. This new one sees me trying to snare a millionaire boyfriend. Hard hitting? Yes. But I need to put myself through this to really get under the skin of rich, good-looking men. Haven’t thought of a title yet, but something like If Chrissie Was A Rich Girl (A yub-a-dub-adubba-dub). Hmmm…

So off I was whisked to the South of France for my first blind date with a gorgeous bachelor called Brian. His online dating profile said he was a “young 45” and owned his own limousine firm. Goodie, I thought. I’ve always wanted to have sex in a limo. Not in front of the cameras!!! (Hahahaha.) I’m a journalist, not a prostitute! When I got to the restaurant to meet Brian I was horrified to discover he was more like 50 and a bit fat. Imagine my yet further horror when it became obvious he really fancied me!! Yeurgh! He kept touching my hand throughout the meal and winking at me. As if! Even though he IS loaded and could’ve bought that restaurant no problem (and totally fancied me) I really wasn’t willing to sleep with him even though he made it clear it was on the cards. I kept mine close to my chest!

I got to thinking, as I was whisked back to my boutique hotel (all paid for) that going out with a millionaire is a trade-off. Like a business deal. I mean, the hot girl gets something out of it, but so does the ugly old rich guy. And that thing is sex. So maybe it IS prostitution to go out with someone just because they’re rich. Programme made! Another big question tackled by yours truly.

More news from Planet Chrissie soooooon! I am working on an idea which I can’t tell you too much about but suffice to say I’ll be donning some skimpy undies and dancing around in an Amsterdam shop window in the name of research. Can’t say anymore for now. xxx

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

Pretty serious stuff

Well, here I am on the world wide net at last! I hope all you girlies and chappies are ready for some super serious journalism. And some GIGGLES!!! But serious things too because I am a journalist that also makes documentaries about tough subjects which include cancer and having a baby or child.

I plan to update this blog as often as I can to tell you all what I'm up to in the wonderful world of journalism. Already this year I have fancied boys, pretended to fancy girlies (!!!! eh boys? Did you see me? Fancying girlies?), done burlesque lessons to empower myself and hugged countless people with all kinds of cancer. I did NOT discriminate. Even the ones with bum cancer.

So as you can see, I'm not afraid to delve deep into my own personal fears and issues so that you, the viewer, can see what it's like to be me, delving into my own personal fears and issues. (Remember when I was a geisha and those flip-flops were too small for me?)

Gotta go now as I'm making a 6-part series for Channel 4 in which I try spending a week in a squat, smoking drugs. It's called Smoking Pottler ha ha ha ha ha! Only kidding.

It's for BBC Three.