Hiya everyone! Had a great idea for a show which Channel 4 snapped up immediately. There's clearly a big appetite for my insightful documentaries in the current television market. The Guardian themselves called my last show, Look At My Boobs (a no-holds-barred look at my boobs in a mirror) "unbelievably half-baked" which I took as a great compliment. I love baking in my little frilly pinny. This new one sees me trying to snare a millionaire boyfriend. Hard hitting? Yes. But I need to put myself through this to really get under the skin of rich, good-looking men. Haven’t thought of a title yet, but something like If Chrissie Was A Rich Girl (A yub-a-dub-adubba-dub). Hmmm…
So off I was whisked to the South of France for my first blind date with a gorgeous bachelor called Brian. His online dating profile said he was a “young 45” and owned his own limousine firm. Goodie, I thought. I’ve always wanted to have sex in a limo. Not in front of the cameras!!! (Hahahaha.) I’m a journalist, not a prostitute! When I got to the restaurant to meet Brian I was horrified to discover he was more like 50 and a bit fat. Imagine my yet further horror when it became obvious he really fancied me!! Yeurgh! He kept touching my hand throughout the meal and winking at me. As if! Even though he IS loaded and could’ve bought that restaurant no problem (and totally fancied me) I really wasn’t willing to sleep with him even though he made it clear it was on the cards. I kept mine close to my chest!
I got to thinking, as I was whisked back to my boutique hotel (all paid for) that going out with a millionaire is a trade-off. Like a business deal. I mean, the hot girl gets something out of it, but so does the ugly old rich guy. And that thing is sex. So maybe it IS prostitution to go out with someone just because they’re rich. Programme made! Another big question tackled by yours truly.
More news from Planet Chrissie soooooon! I am working on an idea which I can’t tell you too much about but suffice to say I’ll be donning some skimpy undies and dancing around in an Amsterdam shop window in the name of research. Can’t say anymore for now. xxx
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ReplyDeleteIt's 'they're' you moron.
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ReplyDeleteI know it's a hard concept for you to grasp, but I might just follow this blog because I find it funny? I am writing this in my lunch hour from my job thanks 'toosies' (whatever a toosies is?)
ReplyDeleteYou m...m...mean it's n...n...ot real?
ReplyDeleteThere goes everything I thought I knew about the world. And Sarah, here is your diploma in point-missing.
Haha. I think you follow it because you're very bored with your life but that's okay babes, as if Dawn would even notice some dick was taking the piss out of her, she is out there enjoying life. Maybe you geeks should too!
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